Had to Have the Cheese Sandwich

Before we brought Erik home we decided to switch doctors.  We had been seeing our doctor for many years but the location got harder and harder with each move.  After so many visits for the adoption papers (we can never get anything done in one fell swoop) we had had enough and changed to a place close to home.  We both had physicals soon after Erik came home.  Not surprisingly, Harvey went and had his blood drawn right away as the doctor ordered.  I did not.  So today, Harv came home early and I thought, “It’s been six months, I should go do that!”  I quickly regretted the cheese sandwich I decided to eat at 10pm last night since the blood test was a fasting one, but decided I could make it a couple more hours to finally be done with it.  I went into the kitchen and got Ryan a banana and some milk and then I got some Cheerios for Erik.  I instinctively threw a handful right in my mouth, but just as my jaw was closing I remembered THE FAST and spit them out in the sink. With great sadness I washed them down the disposal, looked at the clock, and decided to take a long shower.  I took Ryan with me since he loves watching the needles!  As I sat down I told the technician, “I’m not very good at this,” (this is my foreshadowing)  She smiled and kept gathering vials (notice the plural) to collect my precious blood.  It was probably around the third vial that things started to go south.  Just when I thought she was finished she says, “your vein just ruptured (or something like that, things started to get a little  lot blurry by now.)  She said that she was going to have to do it again on my other arm.  Well, turns out that wasn’t going to happen.  I told her I needed to lay down.  She got me a cold towel and started fanning me.  Pretty soon she was holding my shirt and lifting it up and down.  “You should wear a loose shirt when you do this so you don’t get so hot.”  Okay, wasn’t planning on nearly passing out when I got dressed this morning.  Little Ryan was a trooper.  He held my hand the whole time.  So up to this point…been here, done  this (except the tech fanning my shirt part.)  Not my first apple juice.  Calling two nurses and taking my blood pressure four times…new.  So the nurse takes my blood pressure, can’t remember the numbers, but she says them and adds “irregular heart beat.”  Hmmm…that doesn’t sound good.  So a few minutes later they take it again and say, “that’s pretty low and still irregular.  Do you have diabetes?  Do you have a heart condition?  (No, but you’re about to give me one!)  They take it a third time and it’s a little better.  Then the nurse asks “Are you wearing lipstick?”  Since it wasn’t blue lipstick I’m not sure what she thought might be wrong with my lips, but just add that to the mix.  Meanwhile, Ryan couldn’t be more interested in the blood pressure machine and has held my hand the whole time.  Finally, they let me sit up a little more and then let me stand.  My final numbers must have returned to somewhere near normal because they let me have some juice and asked if I was feeling well enough to drive home.  “I just can’t wait to do this again,” I said.  The nurse looked at me and said, “We just gave you juice, you have to come back.”  Fortunately, the gal who started this whole thing took my blood thought they could do it all with what she got. And then that was it.  Ryan got a lollipop, they directed me to the food kiosk in the lobby, and wished me well.  All for the love of a cheese sandwich!